I’ve moved around quite a bit and have managed to ‘stick it to the man’ in some way in each of these places. You know, like sneaking out of my house as a teenager, climbing a fence with a ‘No Trespassing’ sign, running from the junior high security guards, doing an undie run through campus, the usual. So here in Provo, Utah, things were no different. Put 30,000 20-somethings in a small space, throw a bunch of rules at them, and you’ve got a million ways for us to rage against our squeaky clean machine.
Sophomore year I was living with three amazingly hilarious and great girls. We stayed up too late, ate way too much junk food, and ditched one too many classes. But that’s normal for a sophomore in college. Now, what happened next was also normal by any other person’s standard. We were living in our first off-campus housing and the boy’s apartments were across the way. We did have a curfew, boys had to be out by midnight. Of course, no one follows that rule unless they grew up only watching Disney movies and never having a social life. The girl who lived below us was one of those girls. Needless to say, after months of angry texts, we ended up in a battle with our housing complex and threats of bringing in the cops. After being interrogated, my roommate and I were put on behavioral contracts. WHAT EVEN IS THAT? Yeah, a behavioral contract for having boys stay a little after midnight…sheesh, we are rebels.
Fast forward to today. I live in a 450 square foot apartment on the third floor of a building in a small conservative town. This quaint little studio apartment has it’s pros and cons, one of the cons being that if something is smelly, the whole apartment will smell terrible. Fruit peels, vegetables, and meat are all the worst culprits. My solution…throw the fruit and vegetable peels out of our window. We don’t have screens, and there are some plants below the window that could use some biodegradable mulch. It seemed like the perfect solution to me, and our apartment went odor free for a month. However, our neighbors didn’t seem to like this plan as much as we did. Hence, this cease and desist letter we received last week:
It seems my rebellious ways are still getting me in trouble with ‘the man’. Who knows what I will be up to next, but I’m sure it won’t disappoint.






ok, hilarious, on both accounts.